As I stood brushing my teeth this morning, the realisation dawned upon me that this was the last time.
This was the last time I would be rushing to get to school and waiting for my mum to arrive to look after The Boy. The last time that I'd be coming home and asking, "What did he have for lunch?" or "Has he had a nap?".
The end of an era, almost.
The moment I announced my pregnancy in 2008, it was an unspoken agreement that mum would be looking after our child in order for me to return to work part-time. She was there throughout the pregnancy; gently giving advice, delivering me to appointments, keeping me company in the last fortnight when I was driven mad with polymorphic eruption of pregnancy, and sitting in the consultant's office with me and demanding they induce me because my quality of sleep was detrimental to my health.
On the day he was born, she raced back from Dorset having buried her aunt that morning, to hold her newest grandchild; her youngest child's firstborn. She and dad arrived after visiting hours had ended, but the nurses let them in for the moment I'd been waiting for all day.
When I fell down the stairs and ripped out my episiotomy stitches a week post-birth, she was there to care for The Boy while I went to the doctor's.
When I was delirious with exhaustion, swollen and engorged from severe mastitis, she was there to pass the savoy cabbage leaves.
When The Boy fell unconscious at three weeks old, she was there to tell me to phone for an ambulance.
When the three doctors and four nurses worked on him to determine the cause of his sudden decline, she couldn't be there. She was standing outside sobbing and trying not to let us see her fear. In the days following this, she was there in the hospital to let me sleep, feed me, keep me company in our isolation ward.
When I sobbed at having to return to work in May 2010, she was there to hold me and dry my tears.
When The Boy started walking and talking while I was at work, she was there but knew enough to keep quiet and let us have 'the first time'.
When he made so many discoveries about the world he lives in, she was there to guide him, to coax him, to explain, to share his wonder.
Yes, there are times she's driven me barmy. But how can I truly be aggravated by someone who loves my child so much? How can I complain about the fact that she wedges half the airing cupboard up at his window to ensure it's dark enough for him to sleep? How can I complain when she will stand in the room fanning him for forty-five minutes to cool him down enough to nap? How can I complain about her loving him?
I am inordinately grateful to my mum for caring for our son for the past three years, and I'm incredibly sad that this special time has come to an end. Yes, school is a new and exciting time, but nothing will ever be the same as his first four years; his voyage of discovery from a newborn baby to a thriving, loving and confident boy, overseen by his devoted Nana.
Thank you mum for loving my child.
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Reading this I have tears in my eyes it's such a lovely post, and written with so much love for your mom and the boy, and it really shows the bond that the boy and your mom have too
What a lovely post, how fortunate you are to have such a loving supportive mum who shows your son such devotion. A wonderful start to his life x
Wiping away a tear. What a wonderful mum and how lovely you are so thankful. It's the start of a new era, scary but exciting.x
That is such a lovely tribute to an incredible sounding mum and grandma. Sounds like she'll have some pangs of sadness too! You are lucky to have such a supportive person in your and your son's life!
Noooo don't make me cry! I never used to get all sentimental and now I do it all the time! How lovely that your Mum was able to help you so much and have such a great relationship with The Boy. I love the photos, he is so gorgeous.
What a beautiful post, I had tears in my eyes by the time I'd got to the bottom 🙂 x
This beautiful post brought tears to my eyes, so touching. That bond will remain forever. I love seeing how in love and devoted my Mum is with my children also. Thank you for sharing this. What a gorgeous boy who will no doubt thrive at school after such a supportive, loving start.
P.S I'm so sorry to hear of your pregnancy problems and of course your child being ill as a baby, must have been so frightening. Glad all OK.
This is such a beautiful post, I have tears in my eyes cause I feel totally the same about my mum. What a lucky boy he is to have such a wonderful grandma. X
What a beautiful post! You are so lucky, my mum lives a long way away and isn't with us as much as she'd like! Ah, gorgeous photos too! 🙂
Aww such a lovely post for your Mum. You are so lucky to have her close by to help out.
Oh god I think that's going to make me cry. I already think about this time, when z won't see my mum and dad 3 times a week anymore because he'll be in full time school. The Boy will always have that magical bond with her, Im sure. He'll just be running home to tell all his stories 🙂 Lovely lovely post. Xx
That's so beautiful, it's made me cry. My mum has held my hand every step of the way through my own motherhood, she drives me crazy a lot of the time but I couldn't have done it all without her. It really is the end of a chapter for you guys, I bet your mum is feeling just as sad that this chapter is finished. x
An amazingly beautiful post.
I hate to think of you going so much in later pregnancy and more especially with The Boy.
I am so glad you had your mum to get you through.
I know how difficult my mum found the early years of my children, being so far away, and you will have brought your mum so much joy by her being able to give so much.
And yes, mum's can be the most frustrating, and yet… you are your mother's daughter (and that's what my mum tells me when S is at her worst!).
It won't stop, the time together may be shorter but it will be more precious and more special for it.
This post reduced me to tears. The depth of love between the three of you is beautiful to read. My mum hasn't been in my life for 20 years now so I don't have that relationship or that amazing support and it is wonderful to hear that there are such lovely mums out there who do all those things. What a treasure. Bless her for fanning The Boy for 45 minutes. Is she wonderful or just a little tiny bit barking? Just joking.
She is actually just a little bit barking mad 😉
Thank you for your lovely comment.
You made me cry! What a beautiful tribute to the very special bond both you and your boy share with your Mum. She sounds like a very special part of both of your lives.
This is beautiful! Your mother sounds like an amazing person. How lovely that your son will have those memories, and that you've had such a wonderful person looking after your baby x
That is a truly lovely post, and you are two very rich ladies 🙂
Your Mum has played such an active role with The Boy. What a beautiful post to write after the all important preschool years.
awwwww i am late in commenting but i did read this last night on my phone. this is such a gorgeous post full of so much love and thanks to your MUm and of course your boy. She sounds like a wonderful Nana (and Mum) and full of so much love for the pair of you – it is a pleasure to read. I expect it is as upsetting to her that he starts school as it is to you because she has shared his life to date so closely. Having such a bond with grandparents aswell as parents is wonderful i think
thanks for linking up x
what a lovely post. Yes mum's do do there best to be there whenever they can, just as I am sure you are doing/will continue everything you can for your child/children.
I have to say I find it quite hard going looking after grandchildren in comparrison to my own, one cos Im older and secondly because it is a huuuuuggggeee respnsibility to look after somebody else's precious bundle. Kids fall over/have accidents but as a grandparent you take that a lot harder than you did with your own.
Im sure your mum will miss him tremendously too as he moves on to the next stage, maybe there will be more from one of you to look after in the future for her.
Sobbing, just sobbing. God I miss my mum so much. She is missing so much of her grandsons lived and they miss her almost as much as I do
I'm sorry I upset you, I just wanted to write this to remind me when the next time she's driving me bananas 😉
That's just lovely.
Awesome…. Lovely
its a cliche but it does go by so quick. i can remember when my son was here and just about to start school. Now this year we are filling in secondary school applications for him!! crazy. makes me catch my breath!
That is so lovely. It's really special that relationship between grandparent and child! I think my wee man's grandparents were actually surprised by the amount of love they had for the wee man. It's a big change now but the love and care won't go and I am sure he had been given an amazing foundation to strive forward!
aww such a lovely post 🙂 So nice that your mum has been there able to help out for you and the boy x
aww what a wonderful post, my gran looked after me a lot when I was little and we had a very special bond.
I'm sure school will bring lots of fun and excitement too though, and lots of stories for him to tell you all!