development | TheBoyandMe

The Boy… Aged 3

July 7, 2012 by TheBoyAndMe 12 Comments

Lately I've started to realise just how quickly our babies grow up to be their own person. I know it's come about with the prospect of school next year and so I am making more of an effort to remember the little moments.

The Boy celebrated his third birthday last month and I decided to follow Emma from A Matter of Choice's lead and video him answering a set twenty questions. What resulted was a fantastic moment in time, really showing off his personality and voice at this age.

What would be on your child's photo?

Parents' Evening #1

June 28, 2012 by TheBoyAndMe 14 Comments

Last night, Mr. TBaM and I went to our first parents' evening at The Boy's nursery. As we parked outside and walked in, we decided that we suddenly felt very grown-up, and ever so slightly nervous.

We were presented with a portfolio of information about his sessions: quotes from him, pictures, photos and other titbits of information.

As this blog is about our life, I wanted to share some of the gems:

A tiger's stripes

During calendar time, The Boy told me that the number that comes after 17 is 18. He then told me that I needed a 1 and an 8 to make it, found the numbers and placed them on the calendar.
The Boy enjoys garden time and he likes to bounce on the space hopper. He bounced and fell off and thought this was very funny so started laughing.
The Boy has been very busy cooking in the home corner. He said, "I'm having sausage and chips for dinner."
He has been building towers with the foam bricks. He named the colours of the bricks and also identified the shapes.
The Boy is a friendly and inquisitive little boy. During meal times, The Boy will speak to and ask, "Hello I'm The Boy, what's your name?" to anyone walking through. He also asked the chef, "Why are you wearing those trousers?"
He has settled in well and is a confident little boy.
He is very chatty and will ask lots of questions.
His speech is very clear.
He can identify some letters by their phonic sounds.
He knows his numbers to 20+ and can tell you what numbers make a two-digit number.
The Boy uses Welsh greetings (Bore da) to answer the register. (WHAT? REALLY?!)
He listens to and repeats the Welsh words for various colours.
The Boy will join in with the daily calendar and will recite the days of the week and months of the year as a group.

Targets:

To help care for our vegetable patch
To learn phonic sounds
To learn 3D shapes
To begin learning the time
To learn Welsh phrases to describe the weather
To learn opposites
To participate in colour mixing
To participate in experiments
To pedal a tricycle.

I'm so proud of him!

Wednesday 27th June 2012 – 'Rainbow Lacing' (179/366)

June 28, 2012 by TheBoyAndMe 2 Comments

My clever boy's colour matching in nursery.

The State Of Play

June 27, 2012 by TheBoyAndMe 28 Comments

Am I in denial?

Maybe if I had another younger child, then I wouldn't be finding this so hard a decision to make, or beating myself up about it. Quite possibly the fact that I am a state-employed primary school teacher makes my indecisiveness, and eventual decision, even more difficult to understand? Surely I should be promoting the state-funded education system?

And yet I have decided to not send The Boy to state nursery come September.

When I returned to work after maternity leave, we made the decision it would only be part-time with mum looking after him when I was in school. I'm lucky that she can and I'm lucky that I don't need to work full-time. I work part-time so that I can spend time with my son and help him grow into a well-rounded, happy child. I enjoy spending time with him and want that to continue. Is that why I'm not sending him into nursery school every day in a few months time? It's one of the reasons, yes.

But there are many more.

The Boy is only just three and, although the nursery teacher (on our visit earlier in the week) was keen to point out that they will all be in the same boat, I feel that he's very young to go to an educational establishment every weekday. And with state education you have no choice; I can't keep him off just because I might want to go to the beach with him that day. This is my son who still sleeps for an hour and a half every afternoon; he just wouldn't cope with five half days in nursery. Building up his tolerance slowly in private nursery will mean he can adapt much better with the transition to Reception (without the six week Summer holiday spoiling the routine).

He's going to be in school until he's 18, I'm in no rush to push him into it. I'm fortunate that I am a qualified nursery nurse (specialising in play as a part of a child's development) and a primary school teacher, my husband is intelligent and hands-on; The Boy is going to pass all of his baseline assessments without any problems. (He actually already has done: he spent some time in my school nursery recently when I had to go in for a meeting, and they passed him on everything). I want him to be a little boy for as long as he can, I think children grow up too quickly nowadays.

There's also the fact that he has had two changes already; playgroup in January for the first time and now this nursery in April (I overheard him singing "Jesus' Love Is Very Wonderful" in the dining room one day so we found a new place sharpish) and I don't want to get him even more confused by it. It's not fair to him when he's trying to form friendships, to chop and change him.

The new state nursery would be lovely! Recently extended, there are two distinct areas inside for the children to work in with a good IT provision as well as imaginative play, a covered outdoor area and a beautiful playground with a straw/mud hut, wendy houses, climbing frames, allotments and a rope swing. It seemed perfect until I saw that there were two parents of children I've taught there, and suddenly I felt uneasy. Maybe it's something I need to learn to deal with: I live and work in my hometown after all, but this felt a little different.

The private nursery though feels 'right'. It's more homely, the nursery nurses are referred to by their first names, it's less formal and more relaxed. It follows exactly the same curriculum as the state nursery, but the staff: child ratio is actually lower, giving them more support and attention. There also aren't any ties in the private nursery and it makes me feel more comfortable.

There's also the practical aspect to consider. State nursery is 12.45-3.15 (don't even get me started on it being an afternoon slot, when will he nap?) which would rely on my mum taking him and picking him up, and her not having much time in between to do anything. However in the private nursery we can drop him off from 7.30 (we don't take him until 9 though), he eats lunch there and then I pick him up after work at 1pm. It's far more convenient.

And the final point is that Mr. TBaM changed his job at the time that we put The Boy into the private nursery, one of the perks of it is a contribution to childcare costs, enough for two sessions a week.

This means that come September The Boy will have two full days with me where we will go to a toddler group coffee session or Under-Fives playgroup on one day and Tumble Tots on the other, a whole day with my mum, two mornings in private nursery, one afternoon with mum and one afternoon with me. He's certainly going to have a busy time throughout the week, with plenty of time for fun and games with friends and family.

Have any of you not sent your little ones to state nursery?

What do you think about the age that they start school?

Interview With A Three Year Old

June 21, 2012 by TheBoyAndMe 25 Comments

The lovely Emma from A Matter Of Choice, came up with a fantastic idea recently to ask her newly three year old son a selection of questions, and then to ask him the same questions each year on his birthday. Emma tagged a couple of us to take part as we all have boys who turn three within a month or so of each other, and the questions we ask really show off the boys personalities at this stage. Lauren from The Real Housewife decided to video her little boy answering the questions and I loved that idea as it shows the speech development as well as their personalities.

And so here's The Boy in his Interview With A Three Year Old and I must apologise for the length, but he decided to be a banana and I went a little hysterical.

Thursday 21st June 2012 – 'I Made It Fly!' (173/366)

June 21, 2012 by TheBoyAndMe 5 Comments

I picked this up today in the pile of donations left for the white elephant stall at the school fayre; a fab electricity exploration kit. We've had great fun with the helicopter!

The Battle of the Beans

May 12, 2012 by TheBoyAndMe 35 Comments

Today has been quite hellish at times. I have cried at least twice, I have certainly ranted and I've lost count of the times that I have said, "Just eat your food!"

The Boy has always been good with his food, even as a baby and feeding from the bottle, he drank beautifully and without fuss. When I started weaning him, he accepted each new taste with pleasure and a great tolerance. Apart from mangoes, and who can really blame him. Second stage weaning saw a baby who was enthusiastic about the home-cooked meals that I prepared and cooked, and he went from strength to strength always eating everything given to him.

About six months ago he decided to exhibit the typical two year old's decision to exert his authority and ability to control a situation. He is well behaved with everything and always does as he is asked, but at that point he decided to show that he can control things himself, and he would become a right pain at mealtimes. I rode it out as he was still so young, and things improved drastically quickly.

Lately I've noticed he's messing around a lot at dinner times and is barely eating. I have never wanted to force him to eat, but I don't find him saying he's finished after three spoonfuls an acceptable amount for a child who's going through a growth spurt. He isn't getting enough nutrients or calories in that small amount to sustain himself throughout the day. An added concern to this is that he's started at a private nursery one morning a week and has lunch there, serving himself and eating with his friends. The feedback is that he's not eating very much, and this week he refused to have a drink of milk and half a banana at snacktime. This is not good because if nothing else will enter his mouth, they are the two staples he would survive on.

Today has seen World War Three and Four in this house at both lunchtime and teatime. He was served exactly the same meal at lunchtime as Mr. TheBoyandMe who sat and ate with him, but it took him well over an hour to eat it, and even then he didn't finish. Lunch was one of his favourite meals: cheesy pasta with ham. There was no reason for him not to eat it, but he couldn't be bothered. He wasn't exerting control of the situation he, just didn't want to eat it. Tea was similar with his other favourite of beans on toast. An hour!

There are those who would tell me that he'll eat when he's ready, but I'm not prepared to accept that. When it has been going on for more than a fortnight, during which time he's developed ear infections and a cold, it's not ok. I can only conclude that he's developed lazy habits at mealtimes and, with his third birthday next month, it has to stop. I'm at the end of my tether and I feel like I'm failing him.

That's why this evening I'm going to be sitting down to read this book that I've been sent:

It's been sat on the kitchen shelf for a month or two now, and I was going to get around to reading it, but now I need to. Because I can not have another day like today. I can not scream like a banshee at my child. I can not sit and sob at my failings as a mother.

With sections on 'why it hurts us so much', 'how much does a child need to eat', 'a child's three defences', 'what not to do at mealtimes' (I suspect digging my heels in is one of them), and 'how not to force a child to eat', I am hoping that 'My Child Won't Eat' is going to change my perception and explain things a little bit more to me. I want him to be happy at mealtimes and healthy because of the food he's eating.

In the meantime, there are certain things that are changing at mealtimes. And it's been with the help of the lovely folk of twitter that I've reached these decisions:

no pudding unless the main food is eaten (we've always relented in the past because 'he's done quite well', or 'he's just a baby'. No more!)
no snacks in between meals (there aren't any really but it's something I need to tell my mum who does give him some)
while breakfast is still in two parts (cereal first, toast or brioche half an hour later), he will no longer have the second part on a plate in the living room while he's playing or watching television. He'll be sat to the table and will eat it there.

Mealtimes mean eating kiddo! Once we've got that re-established, then you can chat!

Any more tips or advice please?

I was sent this book to review, my situation and need is real and frustrating.

Which Way?

April 10, 2012 by TheBoyAndMe 8 Comments

Mr. TheBoyandMe decided to try and teach The Boy which was his left hand and which was his right.

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I'm linking this up to Thinly Spread's 'The Funny Things Kids Say and Do'

Learning Through Play: Changing Shape

March 6, 2012 by TheBoyAndMe 17 Comments

Before I became a primary school teacher, I trained as a nursery nurse and studied the importance of play as a part of a child's development. Learning through play is a subject close to my heart, and it's what the Foundation Phase (nursery and reception) teaching is all about nowadays. In my school, we embrace it up to the end of infants. I'm used to it, I love it, I provide The Boy with loads of opportunities for it, and yet I always forget to blog about it.

Which is daft.

However, last week on one of my favourite sites ever, I came across this little gem and immediately purchased the necessary equipment to make it happen. And then I sat and pondered exactly what to do with these tiny little beads that were not much bigger than hundreds and thousands. Luckily Cathy at The Nurture Store is a kindly soul who was more than happy to bounce ideas back and for' with me.

Changing Shape with Water Beads

Water beads are strange little entities. Incredibly popular with florists for vase displays, they start out life as very small pellets. 'Soak each 5 gram portion in 1 litre of water and within 24 hours they will have absorbed the water and swollen in size.' In reality, they were full size within 10 hours and we only needed half the water.

We had great fun swirling and squidging them, watching them expand and change shape.

The next day we came back to them when they'd fully absorbed the water. I drained off the excess water and gave the tray full to The Boy to play with, along with some coloured bowls, spoons of different sizes and funnels. I left him to it for a little while, sitting back and noting what he was doing, only contributing when asked something. I wanted to see what he did, his thoughts and observations.

He realised straight away that they'd absorbed the water, and he loved the change in texture and size. He poured, stirred, squidged, bounced (rubbery now!) and had great fun pouring and playing. (Scientific development: changing shape)

After a while he asked what the bowls were for. I asked him what colours they were and if he noticed anything that was the same. He pointed out the colours of the beads, and started to try and pick them up with his fingers to put into the bowls. Thing is about these water beads? They're slippery little blighters and they kept popping out of his fingers. I asked if there was anything that he could use to help him get them out, and he chose to use the spoons. (This helps mathematical development: sorting into colours is a pre-maths skill. Also develops fine motor skills: hand-eye co-ordination and control)

The funnels were the best part of the exploring session. £1 for 2 from Ikea and he loved pouring them in and seeing them cascade out the bottom. One clear bead got stuck and he and Mr. TheBoyandMe decided to use it as a looking glass. They noticed fairly quickly that the image was upside down. Cute alert: The Boy tried to turn it around to make it go the right way up! (Scientific development: physical processes)

Water beads = great fun!

Our next step is to take a bowl of these, lay them out on a tray lined with kitchen towel and put them in the airing cupboard. We're going to try and get them to shrink back to their original size!

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I'm linking this up to Science Sparks