Days 146-152 of Project 365

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Project 365

146. Manipulation (We took The Boy over to Techniquest in Cardiff Bay as we'd recently bought a yearly pass, there's so much to explore there and he loves it. Transferring the cargo from the quayside to the ship proved quite tricky, but he managed it!)

147. Pondlife (It was Nana's birthday today and so we took her over to Dyffryn Gardens as she hasn't been there in a decade or two. I surprised her by meeting my sister there with my niece and nephew, and the three children had great fun racing around the grounds, much to mum's delight. The ponds have wonderful examples of pond-skaters, water boatmen and newts there so we got to cross off another of our 50 Things!)

148. Splosh! (A tiresome day today with many things which needed doing before packing to come away on holiday, a tired little boy and a crotchety mummy. By the time Mr. TBaM came in, I handed The Boy over to him for half an hour's splashing fun/peace and quiet.)

149. Fountains (On the way down to Bridport on holiday, we called into Montacute House, a National Trust place in Dorset. Beautiful venue and stately grounds were in abundance, unfortunately there wasn't a huge amount there for children, despite the advertised adventure playground. It gave us a chance to stretch our legs though.)

150. Engine Driver (We returned to Pecorama, a place we'd first been two years ago, to explore the gardens, play areas and most importantly the miniature steam railway. The Boy was very intrigued with how it all worked.)

151. Snappy Dresser! (A morning walk down to West Bay beach at 10am and a straw hat was already a necessity with the blazing sunlight, long may it continue. Maybe The Boy is actually surveying the cliffs at Broadchurch?)

152. From Where We Stand (Or should that be sit? A rare photo of the three of us, even if it is only my feet. No trip to Dorset is complete without a few hours on the imported sandy beach at Lyme Regis! We built sandcastles and ate fish and chips on the beach, followed by an ice-cream on the promenade. The perfect end to our holiday.)

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Dahlias And Teacups (Flashback Friday)

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This post has been inspired by the beautiful memory shared over on Mummy Mishaps.

My mum is an only child, my dad is one of three; neither of them have any older generation relatives left, and discovering your parents are now the top of the living family tree is a sobering thought. In recent years, I have become very interested in my genealogy and have managed to research over three hundred family members, across both sides of my family. My mum, not one for history, actually finds this fascinating and I suspect because she has spent such a long time as a lonesome family member; her father died in 1980, her mother in 1994, her cousins are long-lost in the realms of South Africa.

However, until 2009 she still had a very close connection to her paternal aunt in Dorset, and despite an ancient argument between my nan and her, from the age of ten or so we would regularly visit my great aunt who lived in a market town nestled on the coast of Lyme Bay. At the time, both of my great aunts were still alive and the sisters lived together in their council house which they had rented since it was built in the 1950s. Most of the rooms hadn't been redecorated since. I always adored the wallpaper in the kitchen; a trellis with sweetpeas growing up to the ceiling. The sliding glass doors on the wall cabinet held an abundance of fine bone china, vintage teacups and matching tea plates and small coloured glasses, which would now be the envy of Cath Kidston fans everywhere.

A keen gardener, Aunty N had a wonderful collection of country garden flowers creating a 'chocolate box' look to anotherwise boring property. To reach the pea plants which grew in abundance in the late afternoon sun, we'd have to circumnavigate the marrow plants sprawling over the vegetable patches, tiptoeing between the swollen gourds growing from the delicate orange flowers with the sweet smell of the prickly leaves crushing under foot. In between the peas and marrows, and alongside the thick leek sheaths, were dahlias worthy of Chelsea Flower Show; each a delicate shade of an evening sunset.

I used to spend hours in their garden on our visits, the house was oppressive with the smell of old women and the heat from the gas fire, and the vacant glazed eyes of Aunty D were something that I didn't understand as a child. It was only with the maturity of adulthood that I was able to comprehend the desperation behind the eyes of a woman who'd survived a mental breakdown (following the death of her mother) as a child, and lived for several years in an asylum until her sister was able to retrieve her and care for her until her last days. Aunty D and Aunty N were devoted to each other. Giving up her chance of marriage and children to care for her sister, Aunty N worked hard as a village school teacher all of her life until retirement as a deputy head. Both of us found it poetic that I have ended up as a teacher.

In the later years of her life and following Aunty D's death to the dreaded cancer that chases through my maternal family, Aunty N's body started to deteriorate. Let down by eyes that could no longer read, fingers that couldn't stitch and legs that couldn't walk, she was left with a mind that never failed. At the age of 97 she could sit and converse with Mr. TBaM about computers and discuss the effects of them in education with me. My husband prides himself on being quite satirical at times, and never stood a chance with Aunty N as she could see him his satire, and raise him irony and a handful of general knowledge. His grandmother died of dementia with a body that worked, my great aunt died of a broken body with a trapped active mine; we often discuss which is a worse situation to be in.

In the last few months of her life Aunty N's body just stopped working. The cancer which had seen off her parents and siblings eluded her, but everything just slowly stopped working. She died in May 2009, a month before The Boy was born and it is my greatest regret that she never got to meet him. Indeed, her funeral was held three hours after he was born and I still mourn that I was unable to attend it, but I like to think that they met in passing. She would have loved the little boy that he is, as nursery age was her speciality.

And so this brings me to the photographs that have prompted this Flashback.

Three months after The Boy was born we returned to West Bay, the nearby seaside town to Bridport where Aunty N had spent the vast majority of her life. My little family, my parents, and my sister with her family, all stayed in our usual bed and breakfast for the weekend. On the Saturday morning, my mum and dad nipped up to the town centre and returned with a small cardboard box. In the afternoon our assembled ranks walked down to West Bay beach with the sole purpose of returning Aunty N to the coastline that she loved so much. Our intention had been to stand on the quayside next to the shelter where she had sat after school marking books, but the tide was out and this put pay to scattering her ashes there. We walked down onto the beach and at the time I groaned at the ridiculousness that my family didn't know how to go about scattering the ashes, so I grabbed the box and marched down to the water's edge. In hindsight I realise they were providing me with the missed opportunity to say goodbye. The soft ashes sprinkled through my fingers onto the gentle waves and she hung around in the water for quite some time afterwards, listening to the sounds of her great, great niece and nephews playing on the beach in the late afternoon, Autumn sun.

West Bay - Dahlias & Teacups

Next week we are returning to West Bay and Bridport, as we do every year. And a quiet moment will be spent at the water's edge remembering a special lady who meant so much to so many.

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Saturday 9th June 2012 – 'In The Distance' (161/366)

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Today was the last day of our holiday. Having travelled from Devon to Dorset yesterday afternoon, we spent the day in one of my favourite places: Bridport. I always know when we're almost there on the winding country road because to my left I can see that hill with the small copse of trees. Today we wandered around the market stalls of Bridport and as I rounded the corner onto West Street, I saw the hill in the distance. With the bunting flying, it was a wonderful sight.

The Gallery: Picture Postcard

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I've spent the last five days trying to work out which picture to use for the fantastic theme set by Tara for the special 100th edition of The Galley. I have really struggled because to me a postcard picture is a landscape, and I've used many of mine before for other Gallery themes or for Wordless Wednesdays. And so the one Gallery that I really wanted to take part in started slipping through my fingers.

And then I followed Tara's e-mail of the post over to her blog and looked at her picture, and the reasoning behind her choice:

"Is there anything finer than the great British seaside?"

And it hit me!

The photo that I have had in my 'pictures->blog->spare photos' folder since last July would finally get to be shown. So thank you Tara for reminding me of one of my favourite photos of one of my favourite locations. I can't wait to visit it again in a fortnight:

Lyme Regis, Dorset.

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The Open Road

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Back in our footloose and fancy free days, Mr. TheBoyandMe and me did a decent amount of travelling on our holidays. Most of the time it was for long weekend breaks in European cities, as I am a bit rubbish on medium/long haul flights, but there were the odd occasion where we flew for over eight hours to either Dubai or to America. Those holidays were amazing, and we were fortunate to get upgrades to premium economy or, in the case of America, first class! Thank you Virgin Atlantic!

However, one thing that I decided from those holidays is that I would not be taking The Boy on any flights until over the age of five years old. I am certinly not condemning anyone who does, but the thought of trying to keep a little one amused on a aeroplane for more than an hour, while stressing that they weren't irritating the less understanding passengers, makes my blood run cold with fear and anxiety! The decision was made to spend The Boy's first holidays in our own country, and I've never regretted it!

We've been on holiday now three times to Dorset, each time with my parents, and hired lovely little cottages by the sea. We tend to stay in the same town each time, the one that my great aunt used to live in, and always always enjoy it. But this year I fancy something and somewhere different. I've been investigating wooden lodges in Cornwall, debating caravans in Devon, staying with friends in the Lake District and I can't decide which one to go for. All I do know is that after last year's holidays with mum and dad (where we argued and were over-ruled on our parenting the entire week), our main holiday this year has got to be different. This is our time to relax, enjoy our surroundings and chill out, bonding as a family.

One of my best memories from my childhood holidays (always spent in static caravans in the South-West of England) is when my dad converted an old transit van into a campervan. It is the only time I have been 'camping', and I'm not sure that one night spent on a camp-site really constitutes camping, but it's the closest I'll ever let myself get to 'roughing it'. Dad had put in a sink, a stove, a table and benches. He'd designed it so that the table dropped down and made a bed which mum, my sister and I slept on, while he slept on the floor underneath. I remember every single elbow in my face (from my sister), every pelt of rain on the window, and every bleat from the camp-site goat, and this was over twenty-five years ago!

The idea of a campervan or mobile home really appeals to me though. Not a caravan which wobbles, but something that can be static but easily moved to another location. Just packing everything up and moving to another beach, another farm, another county really excites me. I have such twitchy feet on holiday that one time when we stayed in Barcelona (for five nights) we stayed in two different hotels! I don't like the idea of being stuck somewhere unpleasant. With a motorhome you could change your surroundings, and chase the weather, so easily.

I know that things aren't quite as easy as all that though, there's maintenance to be had on any vehicle and a motorhome is no different. Tax, MOTs, general services and motorhome insurance are all things that need to be taken into consideration. However, what a fabulous pipe-dream for me to have? And when I win the lottery this weekend, I will indeed be investigating the swishiest motorhome that I can find!

The Gallery: My Awesome Photo

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This week's theme is quite simple:

My awesome photo

I'm late to The Gallery this week because I've been cogitating on the theme. I've got lots of photos that I really love and so picking one is really hard. However, as I opened up a browser this morning, one image caught me eye:

Visitors to my blog will recognise this as my header image, The Boy sat on a shingle beach playing with some pebbles. It was taken by me last year on holiday in Dorset and is one of my favourite pictures of him. I love the way that he stands out against the neutral tones of the shingle and the big pile of stones in front of him. I want to stroke his hair in the photo and I love the way that he is knelt down in the way that toddlers do, with his little Doodles: his first pair of shoes. And yes, I loved those dungarees as well!

It was our first holiday with The Boy, we had gone to Dorset with my parents for a week's holiday staying in a cottage on the coastline of Lyme Bay. It was a fab holiday and we had a great time in one of my favourite places in the world. The beach was a two hundred yard walk along the coast and down through the sand-dunes amongst sea cabbages and abandoned bonfires.

What you can't see in that photo though is that he's sat at the start of the 26 mile Chesil Beach, and far away in the background is Portland Bill with the most amazing storm brewing. Here's the photo in all its glory:

What do you think?

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Our Holiday in Tweets

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I thought rather than go for the bog standard recount; I'd present my week in an alternative manner! (I may have used selective editing)

Saturday 30 July 2011
07:05 Morny. And so begins the mad panic of 'it's 2hrs til wr go on holiday', only I'm too tired, so sod it
07:15 Oh God, I'm so tired!
12:46 Stressed hr in the M5 service station. Didn't know we were going to be stopping, least of all for lunch. Could have been there by now!
14:28 Yeah baby! Holiday!

16:22 Trying to not be ungrateful but finding it very hard. My mum has already done the food shopping without consulting me.
16:23 Including buying jars for 10m+ for my 2yo. Incredibly p*ssed off that she's done this when we said we were going to go shopping together!
16:25 I know she's trying to help but I run my own family my way, 10yrs since I lived at home. I do things differently now
22:15 First day of holiday has seen so many mini-strops, it's like bloody Dynasty around here. Tomorrow I don my best Krystal Karrington smile!
22:29 Off to be sociable with the Grumpy Bunch for half an hour.

Sunday 31 July 2011
00:07 I have my dad inordinately happy by spending 3/4 of an hour playing dominoes #gooddaughter
00:17 There's moths. Everywhere. And bloody bats. I don't like flying things…
00:18 Night twitter
00:18 Can no longer type straight. I give up
06:13 Worst night ever because of not being our bed, cot, rooms, temperature etc. Knackered
06:57 Sod it, may as well have brekkie in peace and quiet


07:10 I'm sat in the conservatory on my own. No other bugger is awake. Grrr, getting bored
10:55 God my mother is touchy! Never realised how much. Now how would I cajole a 10yr old? Will it work on a 66yr old?
17:37 Chesil beach
23:25 Off to see a certain little lady pig and her family tomorrow. Return visit for us, let's hope this set of grandparents behave themselves

Monday 1 August 2011
06:49 Morny. Peppa Pig World today, wahoo
07:09 The Boy woke up at 6.30. He wanted Nana and Grandad so I may have quietly shown him the way…
10:47 Thanks everyone. I don't understand why my site won't load when it is on my phone @maft
16:19 Peppa Pig World is serious fun when you have grandparents who take part
23:41 Right. 2bed/2bathroom apartment aimed at families? You'd expect one of those 'bath'rooms to have an actual bath? Yes? No? Just me? Ok then

Tuesday 2 August 2011
14:33 It has just taken four men to fold down our pop-up beach tent. Hilarious! I think this should be a new form of beach emtertainment!
14:36 A saxophone was playing on the promenade in Lyme Regis while we built sandcastles, ate chips and got sand everywhere. Very atmospheric
14:40 The Boy is sat in his car-seat very seriously. He has just declared, "I eaten my ice-cream." I agree sweetie.
14:49 And now he's asleep
19:15 Eating his tea al fresco watching people on a picnic bench "those people are eating their tea" shhh "they can't hear me nana! Those people sing twinkle, twinkle little star"

Wednesday 3 August 2011
07:10 #badnightcoffeeclub That is all I have to say
14:41 Spent the morning in the local market town's market. The Boy refused to eat his lovely lunch and is now comatosed on the bed.

14:42 Why don't toddlers eat as well when on holiday? It's the most stressful thing! I feel like my mum is glaring at me when he refuses
15:02 Can I just commend @maft? My blog may have gone down on & off due to transfer from server, but he has worked relentlessly to fix it!
17:55 Things that annoy me: PRs who will not get the message that no I will not host something for nothing
21:10 The atmosphere this evening is horrendous; you could cut it with a knife. No-one's talking to anyone, might bugger off to bed in a moment
23:33 It is widdling it down here. That's fine as long as it's finished by morning!
Thursday 4 August 2011
00:07 It is really widdling it down here. Our bedroom opens out onto the conservatory which is really noisy from the raindrops on the roof
05:35 Morny. It's torrential outside & so windy. Not sure if it's rain or the sea pelting againat the conservatory #coastalcottage
05:52 I'm starving! Have eaten 3 crunch creams but they've not taken the edge off it
06:00 I might attempt this sleep nonsense again.
18:30 "I've got my seat-belt on". The Boy's understanding of grammar is developing daily and astounds me.
22:26 I have spent an hour trying to get a connection on the laptop through the wireless tethering & 3G on my phone! Grrrr! I miss wireless
22:59 Finally I have a connection to the Internet! I am currently sat on the toilet (don't worry the lid's down!) editing my 365! #dedicated #mad
23:11 Last night, The Boy looked out at the stormy sea highlighted with Neptune's waves & shouted 'Iggle-Piggle!' He could see him sailing to bed

Friday 5 August 2011
06:52 Morny! A beautiful penultimate day here in Dorset (but I still haven't had a cream tea!)
10:37 "The sky box is open mummy!" He means sun roof!
17:15 I kid you not, my mum has just phoned from the car behind to tell hubby to let the car coming up to overtake. Seriously!
17:58 I need a holiday to recover from this one #extendedfamilyholidays
20:53 I love her, I love him but God I've had enough of them. I don't think I can do this holiday again.
21:06 See that's what happens; you go away for a week on holiday and no-one tweets you.
21:58 I wish the child upstairs who is screaming about wanting a story would be given one. If he wakes The Boy up I'm going to clock his parents.

Saturday 6 August 2011
06:32 Morny. It's too early but this is good in a way: got to pack up & get out by 10.30!
07:45 Right, toys in car (most of them) cotbed down, duvet/pillows folded, clothes packed. Time to shower then try fitting it all back in my car
07:46 If we ever have another child, we're going to need an Espace not a Scenic. Some MPVs aren't as big as you'd think!
10:18 Family friendly cafe/restaurant in Bridport. Has an indoor play area and everything! 'Generations'
10:43 It is so hard to find a coffee shop where people don't sneer at your little one playing, to find one that has a play area.
14:21 Right settle an argument for hubby & me: pleb or plebb? #trafficjamonM5 #bored
14:25 Worried now that pleb/plebb is an un-pc term… off to check t'Internet
14:27 Phew, ok. Not.
14:40 Oh my word, 4th gear & 50 miles an hour #excitement #trafficjamonm5
16:59 Ha, take that motorways! You shall not defeat me
18:50 We have feasted on cheese, french bread, dough balls and onion rings. #comfortfood #knackeredaftertravelling #needaholidaytorecover