Lessons From Parents' Evening

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This week has seen parents' evening in my school, which has meant me working until 8pm two nights. I'm not going to lie, it's exhausting, especially when one of those days fell on a work day and I'd been in school since 8am. However it's part of the job so I deal with it. As a parent now I realise how important these sessions are, and am far more compassionate than I was pre-child.

However, as The Boy is also in my school now, it meant that we weren't able to have our own parents' evening on the same day, and therefore saw his teacher on Tuesday after school. Yes, he had a good report and yes I am proud of him, but yesterday when I sat down to talk with him about his targets, I had an epiphany.

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10 Tips To Help Your Child When Reading A Book Together

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It seems like listening to your child read a book should be simple: sit down together, and work through the text from the first page to the last.

And in practise that is exactly what we've been doing with The Boy for months. Which is ridiculous because I'd never ask one of the children I teach in school to cold-read a book, and they're over seven years old. So why on Earth have I not been drawing on my professional knowledge with my own child? My son, who is only four years old and just embarking on to the voyage of discovery that is accessible through learning to read.

If I was one of parents in my school, I'd be criticising myself in the staffroom. [Read more…]

Not So Jolly After All!

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Today was The Boy's first time at a school fayre. It was also my first time experiencing it from 'the other side', the side of the parent.

We were slightly late to the fayre as I'd misunderstood the collection time (newbie parent alert) and as I set foot inside the main hall, I craved the security of being on the other side of the stall. Nonetheless, I shepherded The Boy around the ever-changing one-way system to seek out goodies on the various stalls. We won a can of lemonade which The Boy complained about as he wanted the white Chocolate Orange instead; the dear old lady on the other side of the table seemed to have forgotten what it's like to be four years old and not understand the whole 'lucky dip' concept. He also managed to find an Orchard Toys game which we don't have (amazingly), tried his luck at rolling a two pence piece (straight off the table, six times) and refused to have his face painted.

And then we came to the jolly jar stand.

I'm a teacher, I know the stalls which make money and which children adore. They love the crafts, the face painting, the endless supply of cakes, the draw of the tombola. However, you can see them positively twitch over the jolly jars. Hordes of little bodies pushing to find the best spot and win the attention of the teacher in charge of the tickets, the hope of winning the best jar, sweaty palms holding pound coins, eager faces full of anticipation as to their treasures.

IMG_20131129_161441

This was the contents of one of the jolly jars that The Boy won (the other jar had a normal party bag selection of chocolate, crayons, a balloon, a bag of haribo and a lolly). The dulcet tones of Peppa Pig and Suzy Sheep were serenading me from the living room at the time when I opened this jar up, and I honestly couldn't believe my eyes. I know sweets are popular in jolly jars, and they're also a cheap way of filling them up, but for it to be full of so many sweets shocked me. My fingers twitched to share it on Instagram, with a caption about having thrown it straight in the bin and desperately trying to find other bits and bobs to fill it up with before The Boy noticed what was happening.

I didn't expect to be criticised.

I don't let The Boy have sweets. He's allowed chocolate but not sweets. If the truth be told, he has got to the grand old age of four and a half years thinking he doesn't like sweets, I'm definitely not going to try and convince him otherwise!

Various people jokingly complained that I'd thrown the parma violets in the bin (I did consider keeping them), someone called me a meanie, others agreed with me but explained that they allowed their children to have sweets in moderation. That's fine, I'm not criticising anyone's decisions to let their children have sweets, it's entirely up to them because they're responsible adults and they know how to parent their children. And then came the sarcasm.

Don't criticise me for throwing them in the bin.

If I don't want to give them to my child, that is my business.

Don't mock me with a comment about filling the jar full of fruit.

Could someone explain how giving a child fruit, not sweets, is derogatory?

Don't tell me that I've been wasteful when a parent had donated them and I shouldn't have thrown them in the bin.

I paid for that jolly jar. If I want to bin it, I will.

Don't tell me how to parent my child.

I don't tell you how to parent yours!

I'm at a loss as to how throwing the sweets into the bin is me being a bad parent. I'm also very much at a loss as to how someone can use giving fruit as a mocking and belittling comment. I honestly don't understand. As it was, I filled up the jolly jar with bits and pieces lying around the house from party bags that The Boy had forgotten about and he was over the moon with it.

But could someone please explain to me how I am a bad parent because I won't give my child sweets? Can someone just talk me through that one?

Too Much Too Young: Are Our Children Growing Up Too Fast? (Guest Post)

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I often thank the Lord above that I have a son because parenting a daughter nowadays must be a scary and worrying business. I'm sure that The Boy will face just as many issues as a girl would, but of a different sort. My own mum had to contend with first make-up sessions (13 and only then was I allowed pink eyeshadow and clear mascara), among with all the other delights of female puberty. Protecting The Boy's innocence is really important to me, especially with my mother in law pointing out how emotionally immature he was on the weekend, but keeping him away from the worrying aspects of society is something I'm keen to keep doing for as long as I can. He may be emotionally immature in comparison to some street-savvy (nearly) four year old boys, but he is still an infant and has no need to worry about fashion, latest gadgets or what the cool kids are doing.

In this guest-post, the author discusses way to ensure older children are able to protect themselves from potential peer pressure issues and become aware of society's dangers in a sensible and controlled manner.

It’s amazing how quickly children grow. One minute we’re carrying them carefully through the front door for the first time, and the next they’re getting ready for their first day at school.

However, there’s a growing concern among parents that the transition from childhood to teenhood is happening too fast. According to a recent survey, an alarming two thirds of British parents believe that kids are leaving childhood behind once they turn 12- but what’s really to blame, and how as parents can we protect our kids?

Pressure to act older

Another common concern amongst parents is that daughters are under pressure to be “sexy” at a premature age, while boys are incensed towards “macho” behaviour.

If your natural reaction is to blame the media, and in particular the sexualised images of young pop stars like Justin Bieber or Taylor Swift, why not join your child next time they sit down for an afternoon of advert-punctuated TV? According to Susan Linn, Director of the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood, “most 8-year-olds worship teens, [so] many marketers have decided to promote products to them as though they are several years older.”

Sharing television time will allow you to keep an eye out for unsuitable adverts, and offer the chance to discuss them openly. If your daughter does plead with you to let them try out grown-up clothes or beauty products for the first time, be sure to shop carefully for the best make-up for young skin, and limit use to birthdays or special occasions.

Social media, smartphones and Internet search

With 75% of British youngsters under the age of ten now owning a mobile phone, today’s children are becoming more and more independent.

But while parents can justify the need for mobile phones for use in after-school arrangements, many cite the Internet as a major culprit for children gaining access to inappropriate material. Although tech-savvy parents can use filters to stop children from accessing age-sensitive content and videos online, it’s more difficult to protect little ones from discovering other truths you’d rather keep secret for the time being, such as “does Father Christmas exist?”

What’s more, recent studies show that restricting access to the home computer isn’t always enough. In 2012 a YouGov survey found that an alarming 1.2 million UK children used their phones to look up violent or adult material.

The most important action to take with your children to educate them about how to use the Internet safely early on, and to ensure that if they’re using social media sites like Facebook or Instagram, then their privacy settings are as high as possible. Remember that these sites also operate a minimum age policy of 13.

Don’t be afraid to talk

With a growing number of external influences on your child’s life, it’s more important than ever to keep your relationship strong. Where possible, try to vet the media they consume so that you can face difficult issues head on and be clued up about what your daughter encounters, in school as well as in the media.

For instance, if your daughter is interested in reading women’s magazines like Glamour or Cosmopolitan, try read a sample first and make a note of anything that troubles you: such as the use of size-zero models. Sit down with her afterwards and chat about the magazine in a mature way, as this can go some way in combating body image or weight concerns.

There are no easy answers to this problem, but you can at least be on hand to offer your children advice and support, and to make the most of these formative childhood years.

Guest-post.

Hello, My Name Is TheBoyandMe And I Am A Prude

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"What are they called?"

"Umm, that's mummy's chest."

"Mummy, how did I get in your tummy?"

Thanks to whoever told him it was a special seed; it means I can continue avoiding the question.

And my personal favourite at the moment:

"How did I get out of your tummy?"

"How do you think I got out?"

I have a friend to thank for that answer, completely turns it around and exempts me from having to deal with the situation. Although, said friend actually had a c-section which is a far easier birth to explain to a child.

I'm all for not telling lies to children; I had a loving mother who wrapped up answers in cotton wool to protect me, all done with the best of intentions. However, it now means that I won't have people lie to The Boy; we just water down how much truth we tell him.

The problem is that (in the same as I still have to go to the toilet before meals) I have learnt behaviour resulting in difficulty answering certain questions. Years of not calling body parts their proper names (it was just a front bottom or a back bottom) and of not being comfortable with my own skin, means that my son doesn't really know what I look like underneath my uniform of black. I've never showered in front of him, although he has seen me in underwear when getting changed.

I didn't breastfeed past three weeks and none of my friends have had breastfeeding children since he was under two years old, so he's never seen the female breast in a natural environment. He flobbles me on my cleavage, when he was an older baby he used to tuck one of his hands down my cleavage (in case he forgot where it was, I think), and occasionally he looks down my top to check the unnamed items are still there. I know that I can call them 'breasts' or even 'boobies', but calling them boobies sounds a little Sid James-esque and intrinsically wrong from a three year old boy. Likewise 'breasts' makes him sound like he's about to perform a mammogram.

Hence 'chest'.

But it's the 'how he was birthed' issue which is causing me problems.

As a teacher I know all the theory; only answer enough to satisfy their initial question, then provide a titbit more information each time. When it's your own child, it's a different kettle of fish. DO I present him with the concept of a mysterious orifice which he was squeezed out of? Because I know my son and I know what will come next:

"Can I see it?"

HELP?

—


'Fun Food For Children' Pinterest Collaborative Board

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A little over a year ago I sent a desperate plea out on twitter for some assistance in trying to get The Boy to eat his food. He was messing around at mealtimes and doing as much as possible to avoid eating. I soon discovered that it was a control issue as well as partly boredom. Time to start getting creative with his meals!

Steam Train children's meal

Since then I've had to use this technique every so often to engage him in his meals and get him eating properly. It helps and if I'm honest it's quite fun trying to come up with new ideas.

However as I'm not very inventive with 'food art', I've started a collaborative Pinterest board where members can 'pin' fun and engaging presentational ideas to entice our children to eat.

Fun Food for Children Pinterest board

If you'd like to follow the Pinterest board, you can find the link here. If you'd like to join the board and help create a catalogue of presentational ideas on 'Fun Food for Children', let me know in the comments below and I'll add you. The ideas don't need to come from your own blog, they can be pins from other sites or repins internally.

Let's get those children eating!

Competition: Bullying – A Parents' Guide

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As a teacher, I try to be vigilant for any tell-tale signs of bullying in school. Nowadays we have training on how to handle any situations that arise, and have a ledger to record any offenses. Bullying is taken very seriously in schools nowadays with whole lessons given over to it and assemblies regularly centred around why it's not ok. The difficulty arises when a child says something once as a mean, flippant comment, and a child grasps the 'B' word out of the air. Teaching children why bullying is wrong also involves teaching them what it is.

Bullying is intentional, directed and repeated behaviour. It is not ok!

Obviously for teachers, we get training on how to handle it and have a wealth of tools and procedures at our disposal to help our pupils. But for parents, it can be just as desperate time as for their children. They can feel just as trapped and helpless.

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Competition: Fatherhood (The Essential Guide)

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A book about being a dad? Well, seeing as though I'm a mum, I've drafted in help.

"When the Boy's Mummy was expecting the Boy, my first stop in any bookshop was the parenting section. Row after row of books about how to be an ideal mother, what mothers should be doing, the truth about motherhood and then squeezed into the end… a couple of books on what being a father is like.

Invariably, those books would also be of the humourous type, full of amusing stories. That's all well and good, but often new dads (and potential dads) do also need more practical advice: how to support the new mother, what your employment and leave rights are, even details on claiming tax credits.

It's into that niche that Tim Atkinson's "Fatherhood: The Essential Guide" fits. The book is broken up into eight chapters that cover individual stages from planning a family up to the baby's third year, including the initial important bits like how to change a nappy (Mrs. TheBoyandMe didn't have the willpower to show me for two weeks which meant she did every change) and registering the birth (or you incur a fine!). There is a wealth of other important practical information on financial help and legal entitlements.

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